- Watching THX 1138: "It's in technicolor. And the color is yellow." "Wait. Now it's blue." "Maybe they could only afford one at a time."
- "That's not good. I think their yellow camera just exploded." EXPLOSION IN RED SECTOR "Oh, it was the red one"
- "Apparently they also couldn't afford skin for the extras"
- The church confessional, automated: "forgive me, for I..." "Please insert plenary indulgence token"
- "He's got a 12-sided die! He's a witch!"
- "Look, commentary on the 21st century" "yeah, little did he know he was making a documentary"
- "Look, it's just like Parker. The only black people you see are on TV"
- "I think I'm dying" "could you be more specific?" "Well, I'm coughing up blood and my heart just stopped."
- "Blessings of the state" "worst plenary indulgence token ever"
- "Apparently they couldn't afford brains for the extras either"
- We could be gone before the next series started. "Thank goodness. Most of the audience will be by then, too"
- "If I have nowhere to go, why are you picking me up?"
- "Dammit, they put the cards into the probulator in the wrong order. Now it's playing chess."
- "Oh, they're teaching him kung fu. *Drunken* kung fu"
- "The nice thing about the white camera is that it removes the walls." ... "What the heck, does it also remove their clothing?"
- "I think he's dead now." "Well, they'd better bring in another subjecte"
- Here, take a biscuit. "What would he want a biscuit for?" "He's all out of business cards."
- "What's with the inifinite featureless white plain?" "They ran out of money for sets"
- "So, basically, this is The Matrix, only more boring. And more kung fu."
- "I wonder if they're going to stop chasing him when they go over budget? You know, like they did with the writers for this movie"
- Stand down. We are here to help you. "You have exceeded the plot budget and are in violation"
- "I think he's trying to get to 88 MPH. That way he can go back in time and prevent this film from being made."
- So, to review, this movie had no plot, no character development or really characterization, no scenery and camera issues. 1.5 hours GONE!
- Just when you thought it couldn't get any more boring... a sound effects only track. Not that the dialogue added much anyway.
Monday, March 23, 2009
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