Partial Random Song about Data Conversions

(I'm gonna) Scrub that Data!

I'm gonna scrub that data 'til it's shiny and clean!
I'm gonna scrub that data 'til it says what it means!
It'll be so shiny when I give it to you;
But I know you'll mess it up in a day or two!

(That's how data is, baby. If it ain't messed up, it ain't bein' useful)

Atheism in Pop Culture: "Old Time Religion" (from Greta Christina)

Greta Christina has a bit of a contest going for parody verses for "Old Time Religion."

A couple examples from the post:

Let us worship Aphrodite
In her silky see-through nightie
Though she's mean and somewhat flighty
She's good enough for me.

Let us sacrifice to Isis
She will help us in a crisis
And she hasn't raised her prices
And that's good enough for me.

Here are my entries:

The invisible pink unicorn
May be found in ancient cuneiform
And always shall my socks adorn...
And that's good enough for me.

The Principia Discord-i-a says
The Goddess Eris is our goddess, yes,
And chaos give such good milk, I must confess,
That it's good enough for me.

A Pentapede's Lullaby, and a bonus

A Pentapede's Lullaby (to me)(imagine it being whisper-sung as you're about to fall asleep...)

Go to sleep, Mr. Geoff,
So I can lay eggs in your ear.
Go to sleep and don't wake up,
Until all the eggs are hatched!

A Bonus, from the Sporepedia description of a Pentapede:

The Pentapede a Monster is,
Black and white, with scary hiss!
Its mandibles ferocious clack;
It dines on things that venom lack.

Dying in the Sun

(Melody from, and with apologies to, Terry Jack's Seasons in the Sun)

Goodbye, my love, it's so bizarre,
To know that science had advanced so far.
But now the end has fin'ly come,
There's no need to be so glum,
It's just time that we succumb*.

Goodbye, my love, it's time to die,
With little monsters flying in the sky.
They have stingers on their legs,
And use your ears to lay their eggs;
Can't be blown up with powder kegs.

We have fled, had to run,
But now we're dying in the sun.
Pentapedes have come to stay,
And humans are in the way.

* I've got a rhyming dictionary.

Misc Song Line

The stray gods go the the animal pound.

The Little Pentapede, and other Children's Songs

The Little Pentapede
The Little Pentapede went up the water spout.
Down came the rain and washed the bastard out!
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain,
And there in the gutter were its broken remains!


Yankee Doodle
Yankee Doodle went to town
Upon a pentapede
But something that drinks your blood
Is not a very good steed.

Yankee Doodle, get some blood!
Get a fresh transfusion!
Pentapede venom works fast,
And causes some confusion!

Songs

Oh eBay, oh eBay,
I bid the whole night through.
Oh eBay, oh eBay,
Screw you!

Oh eBay, oh eBay,
I'll find a deal yet
Oh eBay, oh eBay,
Screw you!

When the auction opened up,
It was only $1.50
Now I've just been overbid
And been charged another fee!

So, eBay, oh eBay,
I've filed for bankruptcy,
Oh, eBay, oh Ebay,
Screw you!
--Parody of "Good Mornin'", from Babes in Arms

Midnight, not a sound from the server
Has the disc lost its memory?
It is spinning sans pause.
In the NIC light,
The transferred bits collect in my RAM
Let cronjob begin again!
--Parody of "Memory", from Cats

Twelve things you notice when you have Pentapedes

The pentapede is a semi-intelligent, tarantula-sized, five-legged hemovore (blood-eater... I can't find any real references online for this word, so...) with a spider-like carapace. They also like to dance. And bite.

Mostly they bite.

Steve and I have come up with a holiday song comemerating the pentapede, entitled, "Twelve Things You Notice when You Have Pentapedes," sung to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

The verse goes:

The first thing you notice, when you have pentapedes,
is the body on top of their legs.

And the things you notice are:

• Twelve puncture wounds


• Eleven beady eyes


• Ten legs... wait a minute...


• Nine hours recovery


• Eight-minute poison


• Seven foot-high jumping


• Six daily feedings


• Five Hairy Legs!


• Four crying kids


• Three dead pets


• Two slavering fangs


• And a body on top of the legs!

Merry Pentamas!