Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Book of Carrots

So, I've been playing with WikiWrit, the "Holy Book Anyone Can Edit". And it's much fun. I must admit, however, that I am most pleased with the Book of Carrots (yep, I wrote it...), and so I shall now share it with you.

The Book of Carrots

The day was Saturday, a bit after lunch, when God looked upon his Garden, Eden, and saw that, truly, the weeds had sprung up again, even though he'd weeded it just last week.

And so God took up His Almighty Trowel, and put on His Almighty Gardening Gloves, and went into His Garden to dig up all the weeds and make sure He'd gotten all the roots this time.

And lo, whilst kneeled among the Plants of his garden, God noticed a rather largish root that He was Absolutely Certain He hadn't planted there, and was about to dig it up when He became enthralled with its strange orangish color. And so, He dug it up anyway, but instead of throwing it away in the trash with all the other weeds of the Garden, He took it into the house and washed it.

Admiring its color again, he proceeded to take a bite, and found that it was delicious. And, because it was crunchy, He named it the Carrot, which was mighty convenient since Man (who had been doing some rather unorthodox experiments involving long-term genetic engineering) had also named it Carrot.

And so the Carrot became God's chosen vegetable, and was given a nice plot in the Garden to grow in, and venerated by Man, for God then commanded, "Thou Shalt Eat All thy Vegetables, Especially thy Carrots, or Thou Shalt Surely be made to Sit at the Table Until thou hast."

And God spoke to His prophet, Betty Crocker, and told her the number of ways to cook a Carrot, which is Five, and she gave Him some good recipes for lasagna, which much pleased the Lord.

(Scholar's Note: it is from this tale that we learn to embrace the unexpected, for it may be Entirely Worth It, and why pious children must always finish their vegetables. Addtionally, we learn of a hitherto-unmentioned prophet.)
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