Saturday, January 30, 2010

R'thoria's Used Plot Elements, Vol. 2, Ep. 003

Have you ever been to the far reaches of the galaxy? Deep under the oceans? Around the world by balloon in less than 3 months? Then you know what lies at the heart of all these journeys... that strange mineral, unobtai—no, macguffinite!

When you finally find that thing you were looking for, is it... disappointing? Not everything you thought it would be? Did it make the entire search for it a distraction? Then you, my friend, have a big chunk of redherrigonium!

Potent, powerful substances in their own right, but when smelted together, they become... plotinum! Renowned throughout the universe for its ability to advance a story or just for its beautiful lustre, plotinum is very valuable indeed.

And, here at R'thoria's Used Plot Element Emporium and Second Hand Smoke Store, we have the grandest collection of precious and plot-driving items you've ever seen, and every single one is made from 100% pure plotinum (give or take)!

Tell me, when was the last time your living room felt really complete? Or, rather, could any room really be complete without this jewel-encrusted falcon? Look how its delicate feathers are slightly dented, think of the history! Think of how much you'd be willing to pay! No, higher than that! All right, I'll take it, but I'm cutting off my own arm!

Our oldest piece is a beautiful, hand-crafted ring, no doubt it is one-of-a-kind! Just putting it on my finger gives me a feeling of immense satisfaction and power... On second thought, I think I'll keep the precious thing for myself...

Look up into the night sky. Or, alternatively, at the ceiling, which should currently be displaying the night sky. How beautiful it is! See the slow turn of the galaxy, its majestic spiral arms, the reds and blues and yellows of the stars, twinkling in the inky void. Wouldn't you like to own it? No, I don't mean rule over it, and I certainly don't mean a replica! No, the whole galaxy, nebulae and all, in a convenient pendant! Just, uh, don't let any men in dark suits and sunglasses see it; trust me, it's for the best.

From the cracks of doom or the dunes of Arrakis; whether here on Earth or in other planes of existence entirely; ONLY the professionals at RUPE have the skills, style and vast network of "suppliers" to bring you ACTION, ADVENTURE and miscellaneous crap at wholesale prices! Take something home TODAY!
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