Friday, December 01, 2006

Scott's Googl-oscity (and my reactions thereto)

So, Google has apparently decided to hire Scott, which is, of course, amazing but not all that much of a surprise when you think about it... Scott's exactly the kind of person they want there: creative, intelligent, hard-working, social, unconventional, not to mention his mighty programming skillz. It's an excellent opportunity for him, and I am sure he'll do phenominally there.

Meanwhile (talking about me because it's my blog, darnit!), I am stuck contemplating my life and what I'm going to do with it. I'm sad (as well as excited) that Scott's going away in January. He's been my friend the second longest at CU, but he's certainly my closest (non romantic-type) friend right now, and although we'll still be in touch and working together, I'm going to miss him terribly, which is kinda sad since we often don't even spend much time together.

But that's not all that's going on in my head right now. Scott's going to work for Google, undoubtedly the best job in the industry, and meanwhile I'm here, doing irregular contract work for Not-Quite-Enough per hour (I'm not complaining too loudly about the money, though; it's good, but not what I'd like). I have the potential to follow him to Google -- I need some more experience first, but the potential is there -- but is that something I want to do?

He once said to me that he was sure I could work for Google, even if it was only in the IT dept (don't screw up there!), and, even though I'm sure he meant it as encouragement, it felt like a consolation prize. And I'm sitting here asking myself, not only "What do I want to do?" but, "Where is my potential for Greatness to be realized?" I sometimes wonder if I haven't made poor choices in remaining in the shadow of Scott and others. Yes, it's true, I didn't want the commitment and time that it would take to do some of those things, but maybe I should've taken them on anyway. I couldn't have beaten Scott for President of the chapter, after all (not only is he far more popular than I ever would be, he was the best person for the job. I truly believe that he is the best president the chapter has seen), but I have shirked away from leadership when opportunity has come my way.

And so we come to Scott leaving for Google. I'm confident, given another year or two (including waiting until Steve graduates) that I could get into Google, even if only as IT support staff. But is that something I want to do? If I go there, will I be following Scott, standing in his shadow and basking in his glow (to mix metaphors a bit)?

Ah, well, enough of the whining and complaining. I've got too many errands to run today (our pledges become Brothers tomorrow, yay!) and I need a shower. I shall contemplate.

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