"The true criterion of the practical, therefore, is not whether the latter can keep intact the wrong or foolish; rather is it whether the scheme has vitality enough to leave the stagnant waters of the old, and build, as well as sustain, new life." -- Emma Goldman
Friday, January 30, 2004
Thursday, January 29, 2004
It doesn't, at least not in the incredibly out-of-date, failing, standards-non-compliant piece of crap that is ie. So... what now? Hmm... well, the entire world could switch to Mozilla, which does render it properly. But, that's not gonna happen any time soon. So... I dunno. I'll have to think some more. The only thing I can think of right away is that Jase would have to mark it up with tags himself. Which is exactly what we want to avoid. So. More later.
This is a test. This is normal blogstyle writing. Filler text: Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing filler text? It fills me with joy to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing just so my pages look like they have content! I try to apply these same skills when writing papers: throw in the word "discourse" or "narrative" every now and then and voila! If you're squinting, legally blind, or can't read, it will look like an intelligent, well-thought-out paper, when in reality, I wrote it at 4:30 in the morning hopped up on DayQuil, cigarettes and espresso. It's foolproof.
Now we are in essay mode. Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing filler text? It fills me with joy to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing just so my pages look like they have content! I try to apply these same skills when writing papers: throw in the word "discourse" or "narrative" every now and then and voila! If you're squinting, legally blind, or can't read, it will look like an intelligent, well-thought-out paper, when in reality, I wrote it at 4:30 in the morning hopped up on DayQuil, cigarettes and espresso. It's foolproof.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing filler text? It fills me with joy to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing just so my pages look like they have content! I try to apply these same skills when writing papers: throw in the word "discourse" or "narrative" every now and then and voila! If you're squinting, legally blind, or can't read, it will look like an intelligent, well-thought-out paper, when in reality, I wrote it at 4:30 in the morning hopped up on DayQuil, cigarettes and espresso. It's foolproof.
Now we are in essay mode. Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing filler text? It fills me with joy to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing just so my pages look like they have content! I try to apply these same skills when writing papers: throw in the word "discourse" or "narrative" every now and then and voila! If you're squinting, legally blind, or can't read, it will look like an intelligent, well-thought-out paper, when in reality, I wrote it at 4:30 in the morning hopped up on DayQuil, cigarettes and espresso. It's foolproof.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing filler text? It fills me with joy to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing just so my pages look like they have content! I try to apply these same skills when writing papers: throw in the word "discourse" or "narrative" every now and then and voila! If you're squinting, legally blind, or can't read, it will look like an intelligent, well-thought-out paper, when in reality, I wrote it at 4:30 in the morning hopped up on DayQuil, cigarettes and espresso. It's foolproof.
Now we are in essay mode. Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing filler text? It fills me with joy to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing just so my pages look like they have content! I try to apply these same skills when writing papers: throw in the word "discourse" or "narrative" every now and then and voila! If you're squinting, legally blind, or can't read, it will look like an intelligent, well-thought-out paper, when in reality, I wrote it at 4:30 in the morning hopped up on DayQuil, cigarettes and espresso. It's foolproof.
Have I ever mentioned how much I love writing filler text? It fills me with joy to ramble on and on about absolutely nothing just so my pages look like they have content! I try to apply these same skills when writing papers: throw in the word "discourse" or "narrative" every now and then and voila! If you're squinting, legally blind, or can't read, it will look like an intelligent, well-thought-out paper, when in reality, I wrote it at 4:30 in the morning hopped up on DayQuil, cigarettes and espresso. It's foolproof.
This is regular again.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
I know I promised some postage but it's past bedtime (work tomorrow... yuck). But I thought I'd introduce you all to Webb, another one of the (pledge) brothers. Hmm, now Kyonee has told me that he has a LiveJournal (so someday I'll be able to actually find it) and that Papu has a blog on blogspot. Hmm... I shall have to search very dilligently sometime soon.
Based on the conversation yesterday, Dean != geoff.boyfriend. Oh well, there's plenty of cute guys around... I can focus on Nate again! ;-) And we're still gonna hang out, so that'll be fun.
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Jesse (?? Prolly not...)
Dean (not likely... Why the "GOOD JOB BUDDY" if so?)
Eric (actually... one of my top guesses at this point...)
Kerry (The loner thing fits... but it's not really his writing style...)
Otherwise I'm completely clueless. I'm really not all that good at guessing games like this... Ooh, I know who I'd like it to be... Nate ;-) (he's still cute... even if there is Dean to consider... which reminds me, I need to find out from Dean what our relationship is... he'd mentioned one time that someone went around saying they were dating after like two or three days and it annoyed him a lot... so I don't want to do that... [We're not dating yet :-p])
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Friday, January 23, 2004
I found out last night that Scott and Sarah broke up Wednesday night. Came as a complete surprise to me, though, once again, I probably wasn't paying close enough attention. I'm still not sure why (it didn't feel like the right thing to ask last night when I went over to Scott's, though I was expecting him to talk about it more than he did). Near as I can tell, Scott just doesn't want to spend the rest of his life with Sarah. He still seems to like her as a friend, though. Lunch today with them did not go well, I thought. They were both too mopey to be having lunch together, and I'm sure that sitting with Xav and Dalyn didn't help them (my bad... oops. Oh well. Nothing to be done now.) I feel for them both but I don't really know what I should do. So. We'll see what happens. Hopefully they will both be happier soon. Sarah seemed more upset than Scott, but it could be that Scott just hides his emotions differently than Sarah. I hope he knows how to deal with them properly.
In other news... Um... School today. Got up very late (8:40 for my 9:00 class) and didn't have time to shave. Went to class, came back and got the digital camera for Veronica ('cause she hadn't emailed me yet about a meeting time) and took it to the office before going to class again. Other than that, mostly uneventful.
Now, to let all you silly folks know about what Dean and I did (and you'll think that I'm strange for making the deal out of it that I'm making, and wonder why, and I want you to remember that the first boy I kissed was Chris on New Year's Eve... so I'm rather inexperienced...): We came back to my apartment and Dean showed my some music files on his computer, which were relatively interesting but I was kinda tired and I wasn't paying a great deal of attention. After he got bored of that (and... in case Dean or Kyonee ever reads this... he had his arms crossed during the whole music thing, so what was he uncomfortable about?), we started cuddling, which I enjoyed. Then he began teasing me (not verbally) and said that I was like a puppy in that a grown dog would tease back. Okay, fine. So we start doing a little bit more and the "nose button" subject comes up. He pushes my nose button, and I don't do anything (it wasn't programmed yet). So he asks about it, and I push his. So he owes someone whose name I can't remember a hug. Okay, bizzare. We're going on a little bit more and he pushes it again, so I kiss him (what do you know, it somehow got programmed!)(he later said that he wasn't expecting that that night). And we're going along and we decide that the couch sucks and we should go to the bed. So we go to the bed. And we're making out (clothes still on, people) and I start breathing funny... so I call a stop, figuring my comfort zone has been left. And after that we talk for a while. I was uncomfortable with how I responded for a couple days, but I'm doing better now and am planning on calling him to hang out sometime soon again.
So, there you have it. Not nearly as frothing as you'd hoped, is it? I'm still intrigued with him, but I'm definitely not interested the way that I was Sunday.
So, yay for having more experience. The question now is, is my nose button programmed to "kiss Dean" or "kiss pusher?" Mwahahaha!
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Sunday after the last post, I went and met Kyonee for coffee and an interview. (Turns out that Kyonee knows Cannon... which is how Eizo got invited to the party). He brought along someone he'd met online, Dean. At first I wasn't all that interested. But as time went on (and we migrated over to the Taj to have some chai and chicken), I found myself liking him more and more.
I became quite infatuated with Dean that night. Eventually we had to leave and Kyonee and I went to the meeting.
Monday, Dean and I had lunch together on his work break (I was off due to MLK, Jr day). I didn't talk much, since I'm not always sure what to say. But it was enjoyable, and I invited him into my apartment. He proceeded to look through my cabinets and such (not that I minded), and through the entire apartment (turns out that my key does work on the other bedroom, so Dusty will have an actual bed to sleep in when he comes again), and we hung out for a while before he had to go back to work. He wanted to get together again that night, but I had a family meeting with my surrogate, so I went to that instead.
Tuesday, I had work and then school. We had decided that we would go out that evening since I couldn't go out Monday evening. Dean had told me he was going to play pool with his friends. Turns out he's in a league, which was a bit of a surprise, but there I go, making assumptions again. Anyway, afterwards we did our part to turn Peaberry's into the Gay Coffee Shop and then decided that it would be fun to play a board game or something. If only I had one. So, we went to Target, but didn't see any we liked, so we came back to my apartment.
I'm not going to describe what went on after that point because I'm not ready to, yet. Suffice it to say that nothing bad happened, but nothing like what you pervs are thinking, either. :-p
We did talk for a while, and he made some comments which I thought were interesting but I hadn't put much thought into until today, when I just happened to read a queerbychoice mailinglist digest plugging the Celebrate Friendship website. I've read some of the articles on the site, and I've decided that this is the sort of thing he meant. (I want to point to one article in particular, that of The Cleanser). Isn't it refreshing to see what a little bit of history can do for you?
Now, what does this mean to me? I don't know yet. It mostly depends on how hung up I remain on gender and sexual relationships. Hopefully I'll grow out of that soon ('cause baby, it's kinda getting old). We'll see.
Oh, rehearsal on Wednesday was alright, and today was okay. I went grocery shopping, so now I can finally make that macaroni and cheese!
Sunday, January 18, 2004
Saturday, January 17, 2004
Not in the mood to counter Jason right now, so here's a song!
La la lala la la la, la la lala la la la!
Okay. So, last night was kinda rough for me. Not a great mood, kinda depressed. Still not greatly happy, to be honest. I'm along about the same lines as Chris: frustrated at my lack of relationship. I haven't seen Nate since the first time (though I will be going in to the office next week), so I haven't had a chance to speak with him. Sometimes I think I should just reach out and grab the first guy that comes along. At least then I'd have a chance at having some experience in the realm of dating. 'Course, I could always date a girl *dun-dun-DUN!*, though I don't think that'd really work for me.
Since Wednesday: work, school. School. Doom! Work.
I won't be able to go to WICKED this year, which is the PSP western regional conference, since it's Feb 6-8 and I've got a quartet gig the 7th and a concert the 8th.
I'm about to go out with Edain and Jamie and someone else to see Return of the King, which should be good. Again. :-p
All the best
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
Jase has updated the post from 9:48AM to include a bunch more than originally. To be honest, I'm a little annoyed that he did that since he's responded to some of the things Pinky, Chris, Dusty and I have said. I would much have prefered a seperate response. But, it is his blog, and he's free to change it however he pleases. I'll respond further to his comments at a later time, since I've work tomorrow morning.
Oh, and kudos to him for posting something that is so controversial in the community he's in. My personal viewpoint is: we need people to say things that are unpopular now and again so that we don't forget why things are the way they are and why we think such things are unacceptable. (Yeah, yeah, not mine originally, :-p) That is, we do need to look at other viewpoints and take them for their merits (because sometimes there's something to the unpopular opinion) and examine and understand their defects.
In other news, Pinky says that the mysterious ASSG man (whose title happens to be Parliamentarian and name is Nate) may indeed "have the g." Yay! So, I think the best course of action is to be very direct and ask him to dinner or a movie or something. When I'm not working, of course.
Have a wonderful night y'all!
(Do I have a right to an attorney? Yes. Might I never exercise said right? It's possible. Does that mean that we should take away the right of attorney to the segment of the population which uses them, since these people are (mostly) criminals and are an element to be minimized?)
As a queer-by-choicer, I must first and foremost state that, regardless of genetic predispositions towards something, one of the greatest attributes of mankind is our ability to choose, which is, of course, the underlying issue for me. I should be able to choose whom I wish to spend my life with regardless of the other's gender, race, orientation, provided that the other wishes to spend eir life with me. So, for me, the issue of "sexuality" is much much more complicated than a simple matter of genetics. Am I predisposed to being attracted to guys? Yes. Does that mean that I'm gay? Not necessarily. I might very well choose to live as a heterosexual, marry a woman and have lots of fat babies. I could also choose to completely ignore my attractions and destroy my sanity. "I could let you drown. But I can't bring this ship into Tartuga all by me onesy."
Savvy?
I'd like to point out that "blackness" is curable, too. See Dusty's post of 3:04PM.
Traditional is not the same as beneficial. Indeed, traditional can become, in fact, inhibitive in a changing world. Take, for example, the feudal system. I doubt very highly that you agree with the feudal system, and yet it was, indeed, traditional during the period in which it went out of phase. Furthermore, I challenge you to prove firstly that there were as many actual "traditional" gender roles in families in history and, secondly, to actually define these.
Inhibiting breeding is no argument. We can "cure" homosexuality with genetic engineering, but we've been able to artificially inseminate for quite a long time (the first artificial insemination of a dog was in 1784, though the first human was in the 1950s). I would also wish to point out the overabundance of unwanted children who starve to death every year. Why, if we are arguing that the minimal decrease in the "labor" pool caused by lack of procreation on the part of homosexuals, are we not arguing for aiding those children? Why let them starve, when we could give them to people who cannot have their own?
Also, since sexual intercourse between men and women is "natural", from a health standpoint, the breeder sex is bound to be more healthy. Huh? I fail to see why it's natural. Because it results in childbirth, sometimes? Firstly, I would say this means that unprotected sex is much healthier than using a condom, since with a condom there's not possibility of childbirth. What's that you say? Men and women were designed to go together? What makes you think that two men weren't designed to go together, too? There's that happy little prostrate so conveniently located to the anus... For women, have you noticed that you don't actually have to be inside a woman for her to have an orgasm? Seems to me that if the only way we were designed to go together was man inside woman, there wouldn't be any need for such sensitive areas in such convenient places. I would argue, as have those before me, that sex is more than simply a tool for reproduction but also a social device.
I can't say much on the "comforts" of sex, gay or straight. But it seems that the apparent "discomfort" involved in gay sex isn't exactly a deterrent to actually having it. Now, I could understand that in the context of sex being a social device which is given to a dominant in order to keep it happy, but I'm sure you can find any number of bottoms and women who are extremely happy and even eager with it the way it is. And, as some of the rest of us out here note, you don't have to label everything. Why not just be yourself, let it come naturally and not worry about "tops," "bottoms," and such?
I would like to conclude by stating that the final paragraph is the scariest of the whole bunch. Removal of diversity leads to greater risk of defects. Ask a farmer who's had his entire crop wiped out because he only had one strain of corn and the corn blight that came through affected only that strain.
Go watch GATACA. One of the best movies out there.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
So I'm going to have to either get to know him (which hasn't worked out quite like I've planned in the past... I usually end up with another friend, which is nice, but not quite what I wanted) or tell him flat out like I did Brandon. Or seduce him. Whatever.
Otherwise, not much to say. Worked a bunch on the ASSG website today, so that was good. Mostly I just added the pictures I took. That's all for now. I must plot the seduction. *evil laugh*
Firstly, since everyone already knows (18 gay boys and a secret? I think NOT!), yes, it was indeed Chris whom I made out with.
Since the third: I came back to Boulder on the 5th after we celebrated mom's birthday. The 6th Jason, Chris and I went to the rec center and worked out (lifting weights). I mentioned my idea of taking a self-defense or martial arts class as a colony, which would be good for us to know and it could help build brotherhood, and we spoke with a gentleman who told us that, yes, it could be done, but generally they don't do self-defense classes for men (he mentioned something asinine about both parties being jailed in a bar fight), and he'd have to ask himself about the politics behind it or some crap like that. Of course, Jason, Chris and I didn't really feel like saying, "We're fags" so we just let it slide. He also mentioned some other things we could do, such as a ropes course or CPR training, though I don't understand how CPR training would help us bond, but whatever. I was extremely sore that night, and the whole next day as well.
Thursday I went and got my book from the bookstore. They had all of my books, but unfortunately only one of them was available used. So I got that one and came back home and ordered most of the rest online. Thursday night, we went to Dream and met the Big Brothers there. Some folks showed up ever so slightly intoxicated, which didn't make the best impression. The club was alright. I'm not a big fan of clubs, as you know, but I did manage to have some fun anyway. Afterwards, we went to Denny's and then Dusty and I came back to my apartment since he stayed with me while he was in town.
Friday was the Great Sock Adventure, in which our hero, yours truly, and his trusty Big Brother, that'd be Dusty if you don't know, journeyed to Target, Land of Much Clothing to purchase some socks. On the way home, we stopped in at a SuperCuts for haircuts, and the stylist was drunk. Not terribly so, but definitely happier than she should have been. *nods* She managed to do a decent job, though. We met Jason and Chris for lunch at Noodles, and then we came back and talked for a while before getting together with Tony and Jeff to have dinner and study. Just as Tony and Jeff were leaving, Papu and Xavier showed up, so we studied a while with them, too. And, of course, talked, mostly about boys. Hehe, not something I'm used to yet... Saturday we went with Chris, Jason and Xavier to Pearl Street and walked up and down the mall. It was a lot of fun. That evening we went down to OC to meet most of the rest of the crew and hang out. Some of the older folks went to the Yard afterwards.
Sunday morning, I actually coded on my website while Dusty was talking to Andrew (and I, of course, was eavesdropping). I finally added a way to update the links! It took about 10 lines of code, so I wonder why I didn't do it earlier. Oh, wait, that's right! I'm lazy. Let's see... Dusty and I hung out at my place for a while, until we got ahold of Jeff and Tony and met them at a Starbuck's for some family time. I really enjoy my fellow littles. I had rehearsal after that, which went pretty well, I'm happy to say. Unfortunately, the few hours I spent with them managed to practically undo all my shell out-coming that had happened over the four days with Dusty. But I'm going to try to regain it.
Yesterday was the first day of classes. It went pretty well. My first is at 9 and my second is at 11, so I have an hour in-between to do... something. Probably read, though I might work on the website. We'll see. Fortunately, Sarah is in my 11 and 1 o'clock classes, so I'm not alone in them. Plus, I think I'll have the chance to eat lunch with Scott'n Sarah most MWF, so that'll be good.
As I mentioned previously, I did speak with Brandon. So there. :-p
Phi Sigma Pi was alright. It was the usual first-meeting-of-semester-meeting, planning goals and stuff. But there was a lot more participation this time, which is really good. The DLP colony is so much tighter than the PSP chapter, and I suppose that an alpha class needs to be extremely tight, but that's definitely something we'll work on in PSP this semester. I'm actually kinda excited about it, we have a chance now to do a lot of things and we've got a number of people who are in other fraternities or sororities (PSP is coed, if you didn't know), so we'll have a lot of good ideas. I definitely think that our chapter needs some traditions, since I don't think we really have any to speak of. We're going to be doing family trees (Bigs & Littles) and letters, as well. So we've definitely got a chance to improve. Also, the epsilon class is very vocal. And while they can overdo it sometimes, it's good to get people discussing and interacting.
Today, I worked. Still mornings at Farrand, only now I'm on TR instead of MWF. My lab for today doesn't actually start until next week, so I've been working on the computer for a while now. ASSG meeting tonight. I need to do up (or dup ;-) my calendar still. And type minutes. Minutes first, I think.
All the best to all y'all.
Monday, January 12, 2004
I am not crushed. Nor am I surprised of the answer, though I am surprised about why. Kinda.
Something he asked me that I've been thinking about is, "What constitutes injustice from a friend?" And it's a good question, I invite anyone who desires to post what they think. I've been thinking about it. The answer I gave is "betrayal of trust." That's a good answer, but vague. What constitutes betrayal of trust? Lying does, of course. Forcing someone to do something they don't want to do could be. Revealing something that the other doesn't want revealed could be. Note that sometimes, it is even the moral thing to do to betray someone's trust, in order, for example, to save eir life. So it's complicated.
Am I deep? Well, no not particularly lately. I like to think that I have profound moments, though. And occasionally a lucid one... ;-) Was I ever deep? ...Maybe, maybe not. Dunno, not sure that I can be "objective" about it. (How can one be objective about profundity anyway? It's terribly subjective...)
What is my passion? Am I passionate anymore? Perhaps not. Perhaps I've mellowed beyond passion. Doesn't really sound like me, though. I'm not that mellow.
Maybe people are my passion. I dunno. DLP is one of my current passions.
I'm going to have to write more later. I've got to go to PSP meeting.
Saturday, January 03, 2004
I finished The Front Runner. It was good, very powerful, I liked it. There were some sex scenes that I don't know were necessary, but I still cried throughout the entire ending. I identified with most of the characters, which is odd for me. Billy, Vince, Harlan, even John and a little bit Jacques. I want to be like Billy, I feel frustrated like Harlan, sometimes I want to go wild like Vince (and, sometimes, I do...), and I want to fight for equality like John. And poor Jacques. I'm afraid I'm most like him, despite what I wish for myself.
Apparently our Big Brothers have been feeling left out, which isn't good. I'm not sure what to do... I haven't been to that many social-type events myself. I know there was the New Year's Eve party, which Tony did come to, and there were some brothers that went out last night or the night before, but I didn't go with them. And I've been in contact with my brother, though unfortunately he's not been in town lately. He will be in town for a while on the 8th, so I will get to see him then. Ooh, I bet he'll be at Dream. That will work out nicely. I suppose I should try to arrange something, too. Maybe a hike before school gets started again? Depends on whether the weather gets nicer or not. I'd like to spend some time with Brandon, too. Still need to talk with him before I let this get too far in my own mind.
And this is bad: I've been considering dropping DLP. Or, at least, considering the ramifications. I won't, of my own volition, I know, unless it becomes too much of a burden on my schoolwork. But... It just now seemed quite tempting. I'm not quite sure why, either.
Anyway. Back to other things.
The City Born Great - How Long 'Til Black Future Month?
The second story in N. K. Jemisin's anthology How Long 'Til Black Future Month? , "The City Born Great," is an exciting ta...
-
Here are a couple of poems about Pentapedes, based on the form of Cethegrande, a 13th century English poem. The first few lines follow: Cet...
-
Well, the Homespun concert's come and gone. Overall, it went quite well. There were a few mishaps, but the audience was forgiving. We ...